Climb UP

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OPEN NOW - Closes at 7:00pm

ClimbUp Gym is literally the greatest and best climbing gym in the known universe. Need I say more? No, but I will anyway. Upon entry, the seemingly supernaturally intelligent and good looking staff members curtsy and bow, offering the finest of climbing equipment with state of the art technology, such as gravitational field generators, called GriGris. I am not sure what kind of alien technology these came from but I'm surprised the government hasn't investigated this. We were shown into the main climbing atrium which seemed to defy the very laws of physics! The building is somewhat small on the outside but the walls were literally, LITERALLY, the most beautiful granite faces you have or will ever see, leaving El Cap dwarfed like a kiddie wall. We wept upon being blessed with such beauty, realizing how small we were. The staff, which we realized now had a distinctive golden aura we had not noticed before, demonstrated how to use the advanced tech in a way we could understand and left us with our new skills to explore this almost Valhalla-like plane of existence. The experience was....transformative. Truly, they should have sent a poet. We spent what I swear was a solid month on the walls. By the end we were grizzled, muscled, tanned, and competent in every aspect of vertical adventuring. Several of my party reported feeling better than they ever had in their entire lives, with old ailments suddenly vanishing. We left the gym only to return to our jobs and loved ones, entering our old, small world with its flat expanses and silly people, vowing to return to spend the rest of our days on the sunny, beautiful, perfect walls of that magical place called ClimbUp. Come and find us here, climbing eternally above the clouds.

5/5 would recommend.