How to Pick a Maid of Honor
Choose your most reliable friend or relative to support you on your wedding day
By Jen Whitten
Selecting your wedding party is not a choice to make on a whim. While it is natural to want all of your closest buddies beside you, they can't all be your top bridesmaid. Your maid of honor is an extra-special selection because of the events she must plan in addition to her day-of-wedding duties. Careful consideration is necessary when filling this pivotal bridal party position to avoid unfulfilled expectations and hurt feelings.
- What You Need to Know
- Make a list of the responsibilities you expect your maid of honor to fulfill.
- Find out if your family or fiance has strong feelings toward who your maid of honor should be.
Decide how many bridesmaids you want in your wedding party and list who will fill the spots. Figuring this out first enables you to focus in on the women you want beside you on the big day. You will ultimately select your maid of honor from your bridesmaids.
Confirm the interest of your bridesmaids. There is little point in agonizing between your sister and your college roommate if your friend is unable to attend your wedding at all.
Figure out what you expect of your maid of honor. Do you need someone able to meet for lunch on a weekly basis to discuss wedding details, or will you only require someone to hold the ring at the ceremony? If you haven't given this any thought, then it is unfair to ask someone to perform an undefined function.
Consider the personality of each bridesmaid. Your outgoing friend might be a blast at parties, but is she organized enough to keep up with mailing the invitations on time? Only select someone who is able to meet your expectations. No one likes to be set up for failure.
Be realistic about the time demands on your maid of honor. Depending on your needs, she could have errands and time-intensive tasks to complete in addition to the planning of the wedding shower and bachelorette party. Although your sister with three small children and a full-time job may be able to fulfill all the tasks of a bridesmaid, adding the additional responsibility may interfere with her existing obligations.
Think about your relationship with each bridesmaid. Who is always there for you during life's challenges? Sisters and cousins are traditional choices; however, the friend who was there for the late-night-crisis phone conversations may share a closer bond with you.
About the Author
Jen Whitten is a freelance writer and worked in the event and wedding planning fields.
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