The Best Man's Speech Guide

The style of the speech is up to you and the new couple

By Alan Kirk

Photo by Jen Huang Photography

The best man has several responsibilities during a wedding and the wedding reception. One of the most visible ones is presenting a speech at the reception. These speeches can range from emotional and heartfelt to lighthearted and slightly satiric. The style of the speech and how it is delivered should be determined by both your comfort level with public speaking and how comfortable you feel the bride and groom will be with your speech material.

Significance and Focus

When writing your best man's speech, keep in mind that you should not be the center of attention. The speech should not highlight you but instead make the bride and the groom the focus of your remarks. Keep the entire audience in mind too. Even though your remarks will focus on the new couple and they may appreciate your humor, there are family members and other guests there too.

Length

Choose the length of your best man's speech carefully. Again, you are not supposed to be the center of attention. Best Man Speech Insight recommends limiting your speech to 10 minutes or less. At the same time, make it long enough to show that you put effort into creating the speech. Five minutes is a recommended minimum.

What to Include

Introduce yourself when you start your speech. Not everyone will know who you are. Explain how you know the bride and groom. Share memories you have of them as a couple and as individuals. Be sure not to mention previous relationships of either the bride or groom and make sure the jokes do not embarrass them or their families. Be sure to end the speech wishing them good luck, then raise your glass in their honor.

Considerations

Be prepared for your best man's speech. Practice it before the wedding, both by yourself and in front of an audience. Remain sober before giving your speech -- you do not want to be remembered as the blabbering friend of the bride and groom.

Be True to Yourself

When writing your speech, don't force yourself into a certain style that you feel uncomfortable with. There is no rule that a speech must start out with a joke. Speak from your heart instead of saying what others tell you to say.